It seems that nowadays, everyone and their mother is looking for love. Wherever you turn, it is always “relationships” this and “boyfriend,” “girlfriend,” or “partner” that. Sure, the concept of young love is a story of old, but the meaning of love seems to have shifted to one that is not as wholesome and true as it once was.
The internet is a somewhat more recent invention, as are dating apps, but the concept of searching for people is not. People started posting advertisements in newspapers long before the internet was even thought of, and the first instance was in 1695, when a man was searching for a suitable wife. Some argue that there is no difference between then and now, but one could also argue that society is regressing.
Kids and adults alike are glued to their phones; it is rare to see anyone without one. Snapchat is a popular app to use, but it has many downsides. For instance, users can “add” anyone they want to, regardless of whether they know that person or not. This enables people to add a ton of people they find attractive and talk to them. People can add a ton of random men to be “efficient” in your search for love, and talk to all of them to see which one suits you the most.
Men are guilty of doing the same thing, so you will not find real love because everyone just wants love for the sake of it. Love is something spoken about in school, and those who are dating are revered. In the adult world, parents hound you about when you’ll have grandkids. Love has become an object that everyone wants to have, and when one can’t obtain it, they become listless and hostile.
Moira Weigel, upon being interviewed by the Harvard Gazette, said: “Mobile phones and social apps have now totally eroded the boundary between online and offline. Dating has become something you can engage in on your phone, between responding to a work email and ordering a taxi or a burrito.” Love can easily be found on your phone, which is always nearby. It is as easy as pushing the “add” button and messaging someone “wyd.” The standards of love have been vastly lowered.
Love has always been portrayed by the media as a fairytale-like occurrence, but it was at least good for setting standards higher. Think back to the days of the BBC’s Pride and Prejudice, with the dark and brooding Mr. Darcy. He turned out to be quite the man and caused many to swoon. When you compare it to today, with shows like “The Summer I Turned Pretty,” it reveals the truly stark comparison.
“The Summer I Turned Pretty” is essentially about two brothers who fight over the same girl. Despite them cheating on her multiple times, smoking cigarettes, being extremely toxic and emotionally manipulative, neither would seem like a good choice for the protagonist. Yet, each time, she pardons them. This normalizes that behavior in the people who are watching the show, especially younger girls, whom the show is marketed toward.
Love seems to have become much more inauthentic over the years, especially with the “ghosting” culture, where someone you’re talking to tragically stops responding. It seems that we, as a society, are so desensitized to this that we do not bat an eye about how messed up it is. You could be speaking to someone you think you could be happy with, and all it takes is the decision on their end to stop reaching out. On some occasions, the person who has been subjected to the ghosting will continue to reach out and chase the ghoster, furthering the idea that we as a society have lowered the standards when it comes to love.
Over the years, love has turned into something that is wanted and has become less romantic. No one just waits for love anymore; they go searching for it and find love where there is not really any. Perhaps taking the easy way out will dissipate within a few years, but while it sticks around, it will continue to be the annoyance of those who seek the finer things in life. As David Bowie is famous for saying, he’s “never gonna fall for modern love.”