Learning to survive high school romance

Many teens date in high school, and their experiences with other people affect them for a long period of time.

Graphic: Leannah Messenger/FHS Press

Many teens date in high school, and their experiences with other people affect them for a long period of time.

On Feb. 14, Valentine’s Day is celebrated, a day that celebrates romantic love, friendship and admiration. This is a day to express love and affection towards significant others and significant people who affect you. Attraction is interest in a person, which can result in liking someone, also known as having a “crush.” Attraction can be based on looks, personality, mutual interest or an attraction because you and another person are polar opposites — opposites attract in many cases. No matter the reason for attraction, in high school, the only two choices you have are to either act on these feelings or not to. 

Many people date in high school for the experience and not wanting to miss out on what “everyone else is doing.” It could be a “we grew up together, and it just happened” situation or a simple summer romance, happening all in the moment. No matter the length of a relationship, whether two weeks, three months or two years, each relationship has some sort of impact on the parties involved. Just because the length of a relationship is longer than another relationship, it doesn’t make its effects any less important. People have an effect on one another, it is simply human nature. This means that breakups can be rough, and one can go through the stages of “breakup grief.” Getting over people can take time, and that is okay. One shouldn’t let anyone rush them or tell them to move on. Other people didn’t feel what the person getting over a relationship felt. 

There can also be many good aspects of being in a relationship. People are able to learn from another person and they learn to care about someone else while balancing their daily life. People in relationships can have enjoyable experiences that become even more enjoyable when done with a person they care about. Sometimes it’s just fun to have a good time and live a little, that’s what high school is for. 

When in a relationship, boundaries should be the main priority. Boundaries are necessary for a healthy relationship, platonic or romantic. Boundaries are defined as how emotionally close one lets people get to them or where people draw the line in situations. These are set in order to encourage true affection, not to deter it. Setting boundaries allows both parties to get their opinions out in the open and talk about what they want. If someone crosses another person’s boundaries, that person should reconsider how much they care, because everyone is worth respecting. 

Being single is another great option and stigma towards people who aren’t in relationships is simply not correct. No one needs to be in a relationship to be whole. Being single allows people to love themselves and focus on their wants and needs. Some people can say that doing things for oneself is selfish but it’s not — taking care of oneself isn’t selfish. After getting out of a rough relationship, one may have the urge to make a vow to never date again, but that’s not the point. The time after allows one to process their emotions and grow as a person.

Learning to appreciate the time spent with every person in one’s life is what Valentine’s Day is all about. Loving oneself and taking care of oneself is necessary before thinking about taking care of another person. Being in the moment is great, but one should give themself time to process feelings too. No matter the situation this Valentine’s season, take a moment to reflect and focus on self-appreciation.