Break is about to start, and we all have the same general ideas in our heads: holiday plans, presents, snow, Santa, time to relax, etc. While those options are all fantastic and festive, they can turn sour if you don’t act with safety in mind.
Let’s say it’s Dec. 24, and you want to make some cookies to leave for Santa. Seriously, don’t touch that oven. It can be extremely dangerous; you never know when one of those could just explode or overcook your cookies or something. Stick with the classic and safe alternative: your old EZ Bake Oven. That little light bulb is a super-advanced heating mechanism and will have your cookies ready for Santa in no time! Well, it’ll probably take a few hours and you’ll probably be lucky if you can get the cookie dough to room temperature, but hey, at least there’s a much lower chance you’ll burn yourself or your house down. Just don’t touch that bulb.
Maybe cookies aren’t your thing; it’s cool. Santa can only eat so many in one night anyway. I wouldn’t advise waiting up for him either. You should know by now, he’s not going to bring you any presents, because he knows when you’re awake. Creepy, right? That being said, don’t climb up on your roof to wait for Santa. It’ll most likely be covered in snow, and it’s not easy to keep your balance or footing. Just ask Tim Allen. He startled Santa while he was up on the roof and ended up killing him! Unless you want to be the next Santa Claus, just stay in your bed and get some rest. You can use all the extra sleep you can get with midterms coming up and all.
For those of you with aspirations of taking over for this jolly man when he chooses to retire, don’t try to practice by sliding down your chimney. Who even has a chimney on their house anyway? However, just because you have one doesn’t mean you should try to squeeze yourself down there. It’s December in Pennsylvania, it’s cold out and there’s probably a fire lit. You don’t want to burn your back end, now do you? All that ash and dust will just ruin your Santa suit, too, unless it’s magical, of course.
Back to that whole “snow is slippery” idea. Be careful on the roads, as well as in your driveway or on the sidewalk. You could slip and fall, and who wants to spend their winter vacation at home in a full body cast? I know I don’t. I’d like to be able to open my own presents and visit with my family and friends. Opening presents can lead to paper cuts, so be careful of that, too.
If you’ve reached the end of this oh-so-helpful article, congratulations! You should feel so much safer now. But wait. One last crucial piece of advice: Keep an eye on your grandmother. You never know when some stray reindeer may come along and run her over. Have a happy (and safe) holiday!